Monday, December 21, 2009

So This Is Where I Officially Lose My Soul...

...because I'm going to mock my family.

Old photos are horrifying. To me. I can't figure out why. I hate history, I hate learning about it, hate hearing about it, and detest looking at old photos. Why? I don’t know, maybe in a way it’s a reminder of how insignificant I am and that we’re all going to die. Sure, it’s a bit of a leap, but that’s how the gears turn in my head. It’s all about me, and how eventually I am going to die. 

Today in my inbox was a link. Someone in the family had uploaded a bunch of old pics online. As I scrolled through the photos two things were immediately clear – one was that most of the photos were terrible and I could barely tell if there were people in the pictures, the contrast was non-existent. The second revelation was that, of the photos where I could detect relatives, I decided I wasn’t sure I wanted to be related to any of the odd-looking anorexic bobble-heads, because Oh My Gawd, my aunts, mom, and uncle were seriously underfed.

So skinny. So so skinny. All razor-sharp elbows and knee caps jutting out from heads that look 3-times too large for their stick-figure bodies, with too-large facial features. 

I’m not so sure if I should be worried that my mother was anorexic, or if grandma had a close encounter of the freaky kind and genetically I am one-quarter alien species. You decide. 

Sunday, December 13, 2009

It's just a waiting game... see if I can survive winter.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Re: the comments

I got a few complaints about having to sign-in to comment, so I've disabled that feature now and you (hopefully) can comment at will without any tedious hoop jumping.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I'm reading, y'all.

So I haven't really gotten into the blog groove of late, and I feel crappy about that, cause I have things to say! And stories! Because I ride the City friggin Bus, y'all. My immune system is growing by leaps and bounds. BRING ON THE SWING FLU, BITCHES!

Ok, I'm a bit crazed with the exclamation points right now (!!!!!!!!!!).

Aside from interactions with people I didn't know existed - ! Dude, a big black man twice my height and my girth asked me if he could smoke in the bus shelter and I was like "DUDE, You can't smoke in here, do it outside," and HE DID. Last week an old drunk yelled at me to sit down and I yelled right back that I didn't want to sit cause I'd been doing it all day. And he shut the f*ck up. Apparently I have powers over the impoverished yet rude people of the city. - wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, I have had plenty of time to start reading again. Something I haven't done in about 5 years. I'm currently juggling two.

The first is by Bruce Campbell, of "Evil Dead" fame. I am enjoying it, because he is a hilarious writer (or his ghost writer is). My only complaint is he drags on in certain sections describing movie camera shit that is not at all interesting to me. But I read and re-read the parts about growing up with his brothers. Growing up with brothers, as it turns out, isn't all that different from growing up with sisters, in that we all just pounded the crap out of each other while our parents tried to balance the checkbook.

If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of B Movie Actor

The other one is more serious in nature, "Hungry," by Crystal Renn, who is now a plus-sized model. I thought the beginning dragged, but it held me captive because she grew up in a situation similar to other people I know. And let me tell you, being tall I had my share of people saying I should model (because I was tall, I'd like to point out, never because they thought I was pretty) (assholes) and reading this is chilling me to the bone and making me beyond thankful I never really tried. I thought I had some body image issues - but I wasn't 98-pound teenager being told by adults to loose weight. This book is heart-wrenching and infuriating and absolutely fascinating.

Hungry: A Young Model's Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves

So what are you reading?